The Inmate Running Your Asylum: Ego

How many of your thoughts today have centered on yourself? What will you eat, what will you wear, how will you get to the office, what will you do when you get there, who will you meet with, what will you accomplish?... The list goes on.

If you are like most people, your individual identity is the center of your universe. In a society of self-absorbed creatures, it's common to focus on number one.

To some extent your ego (defined by Webster's as "the individual self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves") plays a necessary role. When spiritual adepts transcend the ego by entering superconscious bliss states, their sense of individual identity dissolves. They have no sense of self or other. Great for an adept, you might say, but what about me? Could I function without an ego?

While some level of ego is required to operate in your daily life, ego is also profoundly limiting, especially if you mistake your ego identity (the false individual self) for your actual identity (the eternal, supreme Self). Most spiritual traditions see ego as the innate limiting condition or primal ignorance of the human experience. The ego's illusion of separate existence, of "I" and "mine" consciousness, clouds your perception of your true nature. The ego is fundamentally ignorant.
So you might say the rightful place of the ego is as a humble servant to your eternal Self...but at some point the servants waged a palace coop. As long as the servants rule the kingdom, with no inherent sovereignty or wisdom, there's sure to be trouble.

Using a vastly different analogy, the ego is like algae. In right proportion algae is an essential member of an ecosystem but, out of proportion, it can suffocate all the life forms around it throwing everything out of balance. Like algae, your ego is an essential background characteristic, but you should take great care that your ego does not engulf the entire landscape.

In our culture, the notion of ego has classically been identified with arrogance or an exaggerated sense of self-importance. We all know people with inflated pride due to their success, wealth, status or fame. But ego works just as powerfully in reverse and is commonly expressed as low self esteem. Withdrawal, shyness, self-consciousness and depression are identity defense mechanisms as well. Whether we feel arrogant and self-righteous or intimidated and insecure, we can be sure the ego is at work.

Self-Test for Ego

Let me offer a small exercise: Take a moment and remember a time when someone disagreed with you, maligned you or accused you of something unfairly. As you visualize the exchange, feel the energy & emotion of the experience. See if any of the following apply to your inner state as you do this exercise:

Ego Takes Things Personally: The ego's nature is compulsively self-centered. Rather than seeking to understand the underlying factors influencing another's behavior, the ego takes things personally, immediately preparing to defend itself. But your dispute may not be personal at all. Perhaps the situation evoked a painful memory or unhealed wound for the other person, or perhaps they were navigating a personal difficulty that has nothing to do with you. If you are constricted in ego, you will be insensitive and incapable of empathy, which is a vital ingredient for harmonious resolution. Ego undermines the possibility of creative solutions.

Ego Clings to or Resists Emotion: In addition to taking things personally, the ego reacts by generating emotions such as hurt, anger, jealousy and shame. Some of you might resist these emotions, finding them unsavory and burying them deep inside (only to be released later through unexpected shadow behaviors). Alternately, you might cling to these emotions, justifying your anger by constructing a storyline to make you feel better - "his behavior was unacceptable, so I have every right to be angry". Justification is just another trick of the ego.

Ego Shows Displeasure: Ego reactions are inevitably accompanied by a constriction in the body and mind. Very often these constrictions are glaringly visible in your body language and speech. Dirty looks, snarly comments, pouting, guilt trips, threats or demands -- any posture that seeks to manipulate or control the other is a sure sign of ego in full gear.

Ego Wants to be Right: "It's my way or the highway," says your ego. If you ever feel self-righteous, "better than", or certain you have the right answer, know your ego has gotten the best of you. Alternately, if you feel timid, embarrassed or paralyzed by uncertainty regarding the 'right' answer, your ego has snuck in as well. If you were enlightened, you would not be carried away by agreement or disagreement, approval or disapproval. They are both the same. Everyone has their point of view. Indian teacher Sai Baba has been quoted as saying, "The only reason you are disappointed is that you insist on having a point." If your ego isn't busy trying to be right, you won't feel defensive. In fact, without an ego there's nothing to defend.

Ego Is Attached to Outcomes: Ego is riddled with personal agendas and wants its agendas to prevail. If you grew up in the West, you were probably taught that your individuality is a prize possession and you should fight for what you want. However, your personal agendas create attachments to outcomes - you want things this way or that way and are upset if they don't work out. Your agendas take you out of the present moment, causing you to project into the future or rehash the past. In addition, the ego creates a sense of personal "doership" which makes you feel like you need to fight, effort, struggle, and exert your will to survive, rather than operating in harmony with the present moment. This "doership" is the ego's audacity! "You can't even take a breath without God's grace," says Dattatreya Siva Baba, "to think your ego is in charge is supreme ignorance." Take stock of all your agendas and you will see that ego is at the core.

The spiritual goal of many traditions involves dissolving the ego and allowing the true Self to be revealed. In this way, you open the possibility for higher states of awareness described variously by each tradition -- enlightenment, nirvana, liberation, redemption, or simply presence.

These higher states represent your fundamental nature, a truth which is obscured by the ignorance of the ego. By recognizing ego's behavior, however, you can become wise to its trickery.

Tune in next week for suggestions on loosening ego's grip...